Close your eyes and you will see clearly. Cease to listen and you will hear truth.
Be silent and your heart will sing.
Seek no contacts and you will find union.
Be still and you will move forward on the tide of the spirit.
Be gentle and you will need no strength.
Be patient and you will achieve all things.
Be humble and you will remain entire.
--Taoist meditation
I began to notice a dull pain in my left ear, I just don't remember when it was exactly, two days before Thanksgiving. By Wednesday morning I stopped at my local drug store to puchase ear drops to hopefully clear my clogged ear.
Three drops went into my left ear of the magic potion; pop, pop, pop went the foaming drops. The drops were meant to thin ear wax, the popping sound was merely "it" doing the work it was created to do, said the directions. I felt like I had my own Fourth of July fireworks celebration going off in my left ear.
By Thursday morning, Thanksgiving, I was feeling horrible: tired, my ear was throbbing, my cheek was swollen, a knot seemed to be forming behind my ear and I could hear absolutely nothing, except myself breathing. I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in pain, finally drifting off to to sleep after Santa's arrival on the scene. After I woke up, the remainder of the day was filled with Advil, sleep and lots of movies on television. You know I'm really not feeling well if I can't stay awake for the original version of The Parent Trap!
Rather than being the first person at my favorite retail store on "Black Friday;" I was the first person at Doctors on Duty. The Doctor confirmed that I had a beautiful wax free ear canal, but I had one whopper of an ear infection. An ear infection? What forty-one year old gets an ear infection? I thought ear infections are only for children or toddlers.
So I've spent the last ten days enjoying the benefits of antibiotics, decongestants and pain reducing ear drops---and living with the fact that I couldn't hear a thing out of my left ear. I've found myself exhausted, anxious, angry and confused at times. I've spent time listening to myself breathing, it has lulled me to sleep and comforted me when I all I really wanted was comfort. Have you ever just listened to yourself breathe? Cover you ears with the palms of your hands and just listen for a minute. What does it sound like to you? Consider closing your eyes if possible.
I've asked myself while I was listening to my breathing:
What am I not hearing?
What do I not want to listen to?
What do I need to hear most?
Finding the line in the quote above: Cease to listen and you will hear truth.
What is my truth?
Take some time, how would you answer these questions?
